Cher Obediah’s Story
Cher Obediah knows all about starting from scratch.
She also knows that leaving an abusive relationship isn’t about finding a quick way out. Cher’s first steps away from her partner led her to a gut-wrenching discovery – it would be harder than she thought.
Cher had no assets or accounts in her name. Her ex had made sure of it.
All felt lost. Worry, doubt, and shame became Cher’s steady companions. But thankfully, she had another steadfast partner – her instinct.
Cher began to hike, alone in the woods, where she could hear her instinct clearly. Remarkably, it compelled her to do something that would become a beacon for herself and others.
She began to write.
The trouble with leaving
In the beginning, love moved quickly. Cher and her partner fell into each other’s lives. Soon, they shared their home, bills, and accounts.
Sure, there were red flags. But doesn’t love have a way of blending warning signs into an interesting landscape? And besides, Cher had a generous spirit.
“I like to say that I was forgiving to a fault.”
Over time, Cher’s partner made sure he controlled the money.
Cher thought about leaving, but it wasn’t so easy. She didn’t have money for rent. Nor a steady income. He controlled the accounts and left her feeling powerless.
Some days, Cher felt utterly defeated, unable to leave her bed. Others, she could manage a hike in the woods. It was her time to be alone, to think and write. Thankfully, she didn’t delete what she’d written.
Without reading it, she sent her poetry to herself and kept it in a file: Writing.
A shift in focus
As time went by, Cher’s instinct grew louder. She recognized a pattern that needed to change. She'd been lying to herself, pretending things weren’t as bad as they were.
It was easy to go back and forth, after all. To break up and go back to her ex again and again.
But to move forward, once and for all, she’d have to reframe everything.
“I ended up really shifting my focus from him to myself…that was the key.”
As she did this, Cher gained clarity.
Leaving wouldn’t be a one-time event or a straight-line journey. It would take time, planning, and emotional energy.
She began to tuck money away. She worked hard to secure videography clients. She made inner-peace her top priority.
Along the way, Cher continued to capture her experience in poetry.
New life in a new space
By chance, a key step in Cher’s journey took shape when a family home became available. She realized how much she’d longed for a space of her own, where she could grow into herself and her new confidence.
It wouldn’t be easy. The home needed work. But Cher and her family were ready for this step.
They ripped out carpets and put in new flooring. They pulled back walls, where they discovered panelling on panelling. Eventually, they ripped the whole thing down to the studs.
Through the restoration, Cher and her family poured life into her new space.
“I could not be happier. (This home) is just filled with love.”
As Cher worked and built her new life, she continued to write.
The power of poetry
When did Cher finally read the poetry she’d written and collected? It took years.
But one day, Cher opened her Writing file and began to read. The early poems were laden with sadness.
Slowly, they changed in tone and content. As Cher was evolving and growing, so was her written verse. She could see the moment she became trauma-informed.
“Oh, this is where I started to understand it. This is where I started to hold a mirror up to myself.”
And there was more. Cher’s poetry revealed deep connections to her ancestors, too.
“They didn’t just pass along intergenerational trauma, but they also passed along incredible resilience and strength and beauty.”
By the time she’d finished reading, Cher found herself in tears.
“I legitimately just witnessed my own becoming.”
Thankfully, her instinct had more to say.
It nudged her to share her work, in case it could help others.
Live in the light
Cher’s book of poetry, Shame to Shine, does more than tell her story. It offers readers the chance to understand the complexity of abuse. While it celebrates feelings of empowerment and connection, it remains grounded in reality.
It helps us understand that leaving isn’t a quick fix but a process of growth.
“I really want to…work towards shifting the collective consciousness around the way we view domestic violence.”
And, perhaps most important, Cher’s work helps those who might be in a similar situation to feel seen.
“Shame requires darkness to live. That’s not what we want. We want (our young ones) to live in the light.”
Cher Obediah, Filmmaker, Speaker, Author, Artist
This film contains references to themes of domestic violence which some individuals may find distressing.
See Cher’s story: From Shame to Shine
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At Meridian, we share important values with our Members. We care about individuals, along with the strength and resilience of our communities. When our Members go out of their way to support their communities in meaningful ways, we’re ready to shine a light on their success.
